Thursday, October 31, 2013

Secondary Decision 1

("The tribe", image, http://worldsfittest.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/cavemen-food-nutrition.jpg)
   The wind shifts directions, and it's blowing your scent straight towards the humans! You try to hide but it's too late, they are already aware of your presence and are moving towards you. Cautiously, they inch closer as you're having a panic attack on the ground. 
They help you up. Someone must have said something about you, because you heard one of the cavemen click his cheeks in an odd pattern. Everyone chuckles at this, except you because you don't understand their tongue. 
This just got super awkward.
You realize you don't understand what they're saying, they realize the same thing, so everyone stands there in contemplative solitude. A few minutes passed. Fed up with the lack of work getting done and the sun setting on the horizon, the group of cavemen start traversing the field. They usher you to follow them.
This is your chance, will you:
[Attack them and commit cannibalism?]

Or will you [follow them to wherever they are going?]

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Consequence 1

("You just lost", http://entertainmentlawbrazil.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/game_over.jpg)
     Y'all reach the settlement. Looking around in amazement, you spot many interesting things. There's a pit of fire, sticks propped up to create little caves, and rows upon rows of eating-plants. You want to comment on the impressive technology that the group has, but your tiny brain thinks otherwise. Quickly you reach for the nearest cave man's club and start beating said cave man to the ground. You don't make too much progress with your bludgeoning though, as all the other cave men have started beating you with their clubs. How rude of them! This angers you very much, turning your small face a crimson red. Swinging harder than when you had to (wanted to) punch a wolf to death, it becomes an all out brawl. Okay it's not actually a brawl, all the cavemen are circled around you with bats at the ready, but at least you're hitting the air with your heavy swings. This isn't looking too good. Your Fight-or-Flight complex finally changes it's mind and tells you to run, but by now you're crawling on the ground trying to dodge the stinging impact of the clubs. Out numbered and under-prepared, you are killed right then and there.
     Well, it looks like you failed fairly hard with your mission. Instead of participating in the definition of the Neolithic Revolution, your bestial instinct made you waste your life by attacking members of your own species. At least you'll live on in the other cave men's memories for a few days, and their digestive tracts. This concludes your stay in Neolithic Revolution, Super Adventure, but if you'd like to try again you can always [go back to the start.]

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Consequence 4

("Sad caveman" http://gavin.delint.ca/Artwork/News/Caveman.jpg)
     Well, that's disappointing. Instead of attacking extremely vulnerable puppies, you decided it was too dangerous and wimped out. Good job, you missed your only opportunity to join in on a human settlement AND you didn't get to eat all the wolf meat. Ashamed of yourself, you skulk along the forest floor until you find a root to gnaw on. It's getting dark, so you head for the nearest comfortable patch of grass and lie down. Wrapped up in the fetal position, your cry yourself to sleep, hoping that you can redeem yourself tomorrow.
     This is (in my opinion) the worst outcome there is. You didn't even talk to the humans and get murdered by them, and you definitely didn't get to pass on your genes and learn how to farm. You couldn't even muster up the courage to kill a couple wolves and have a good meal, so instead you did the shame walk and fell asleep. Too bad you didn't join the other cavemen, because they'd enjoy themselves a lot laughing at this pathetic ending of yours. This concludes your time in Neolithic Revolution, Super Adventure, but if you want to redeem yourself and not live the rest of your life in shame, you can go back the [starting page] right here, loser.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Secondary Decision 2

     Following humans is for lame people. Besides, why do you need to go interact with other humans when you can just talk to yourself? So overrated. Chances are you'll never encounter other humans again in your lifetime because of this decision. No guarantee that you'll die because of this decision, but it wasn't a very good one. Good luck discovering agriculture and creating a settlement now.
("Super Wolf", image, http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/28300/28365/wolf_28365_lg.gif)
     The cry of a wolf echoes in the distance, and you pick up on the trail of your next meal. Jumping over roots, swerving through trees, you remind yourself of a jungle man that hasn't been created yet. Except you're not swinging on vines. 
You freeze.
     In front of you is the wolf den, home to a lot more wolves than you considered possible. You disregard counting how many there are, but you know it's at least more than two. You glance down at your hairy forearms and flex, revealing the effort and time you put into lifting random stones for fun. You so got this, but your little brain is a bit worried. So what if your brain is having second thoughts about following these wolves, this is your decision not your brain's.
     Are you going to [be a real man and attack the entire wolf pack while they sleep?]
     Or will you [wimp out, not attack them, and wander the forest in shame?] 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Consequence 2

("happy camper", http://images.clipartof.com/thumbnails/1049854-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Caveman-Roasting-Chicken-Over-A-Fire.jpg)
     Arriving back to their settlement, you are instantly greeted with cheer and fresh food. A place to sleep is designated as yours, and everyone happily feasts around the campfire. You indulge yourself in copious amounts of fresh vegetables and greens, content with your situation. As your days with your new tribe turn to weeks, and as those weeks turn to months, you are taught their language and how to grow crops (Graeme). You are given a role in this simple society, which is to help with planting and harvesting every season part of the year that you cavemen think to be appropriate. It isn't long before you find a pretty lady among the settlement, and upon laying eyes on her you claim her as yours. Congratulations! You passed your genes on to the next generation!
     Wow, you actually managed to arrive at the best possible ending for this CYOA. Good job! You successfully handled a social interaction with other humans, got indoctrinated to their tribe, and learned how to farm. Man, your mother must be proud. Thanks to you, humanity is going to grow out of the skimpy loin cloths that you're currently wearing to the pristine business suits of depressed workers. Seriously, this is quite the achievement. This concludes your play-through of Neolithic Revolution, Super Adventure, but if you'd like to play again you can easily go to [back to the start.]

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Bibliography

Graeme Barker (25 March 2009). The Agricultural Revolution in Prehistory: Why did
     Foragers become Farmers. Oxford University Press

Jean-Pierre Bocquet-Appel (July 29, 2011). "When the World's Population Took Off: The          
     Springboard of the Neolithic Demographic Transition". Science 333 (6042): 560–561

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Consequence 3

("attack!" http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/lenm/lenm1012/lenm101200461/8517160-illustration-of-a-caveman-charging-ahead.jpg)
     Good choice, I would've decided to assault multiple wolves at once too. Leaping out in a heroic frenzy, you start punching every wolf you can see. Left, Right, Left, Right, the rhythm is voiding your mind of all thought and emotion (You're killing sleeping dogs, thank the lord you don't have emotion right now). This bloody animal cruelty continues for a while longer, until you're left with piles of meat and stained hands. Alone and in the dark, you manage to create a small fire. Yes, you're going to cook your meat before you eat it, you're not entirely uncivilized. Once you've wolfed down enough wolf meat, you fall asleep in the grass, happy that you ate a big meal.
     A+ for effort, you succeeded in slaughtering an innocent pack of wolves instead of contributing to the Neolithic Revolution. Do you take pride in this, you sick beast? Regardless of your morality, you did at least survive to the end of this adventure, though you didn't accomplish any of the other objectives. Humanity will still evolve and create civilization, but sadly you can't be credited for helping that. If you'd like to take another swing at Neolithic Revolution, Super Adventure, you can go back to the [starting page here.]